Cold
by redex
Summary: YuriKai. What can you do if there's nothing to be done? Snow crystalize white, Sky heavenly grey, Eyes shining blue. Tear me inside, outside, whichever is your preference.


Heya! Been a while, no? But this season is always slow in the fanfiction section. Well, here's a songfic I've been wanting to do for a damn long while. Annie Lennox's Cold. Yuri/Kai. Angst. Romance. Mostly Angst.

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**Cold**

_by_

**Red**

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Snow crystallize white 

Sky heavenly grey

Eyes shining blue

_

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_

_Come to me run to me _

_Do and be done with me _

_Cold cold cold_

You're just being vicious. Vicious, vicious, ripping apart my insides with your already blood-soaked claws. But I'll deal with that if I must, if only I can be with you. Tear me all you want, inside, outside, whatever is your preference. Just let me know I can be with you.

_Don't I exist for you _

_Don't I still live for you?_

_Cold cold cold_

I had told you that I loved you. What a choice that was. I bared my open flesh to you in trust, in hope, and you just tore it out with glee. Watching me writhe under you covered in blood must be a particular fetish of yours.

You call me to your room now in that lazy way that precedes the bearing of the claws and teeth. I come, if only because it is the only time I can see you, you as you are. You don't realize it, but the reason why you're so vicious is because you're so venerable. Something inside you knows it as well as I do.

_Everything I possess _

_Given with tenderness _

_Wrapped in a ribbon of glass_

Kneeling nude in front of you is something I have done countless times. You circle like a wolf with its prey, finding the weakest spot to attack in a final blow. I'm still panting front your previous attacks, I've given in to the end, as I have so many times before. I struggle a little for your sake, though. If I just gave in and showed you how I let this happen, you should grow suspicious in my enjoyment.

_Time it may take us but _

_God only knows _

_How I've paid for those things in the past_

I used to fight back. You think I still do. My heart isn't in it any more, though. I used to revel in snapping back at you, finding the weak spot in your defence and exploiting it. And I knew it hurt you. I'm willing to wait for both our wounds to heal before trying again to make you understand this all-encompassing love, if only there was an ending I could see. It will be a long time...

_Dying is easy _

_It's living that scares me to death_

You know what I mean when I say that death is easy and living is hard. You have been where I am now, on my knees with the pressure of the world onyour shoulders, and the smallest thing holding you up. You don't know that I am reaching that place where living is too hard. If only you knew, maybe you'd understand that I can only do this for so long.

To everyone else I am a steadfast person who will live. I have only faltered once in their memories, and they choose to forget that moment more often than not. To everyone else, I am in a relationship that needs to stop, but I'm not going to let go. I know just how unhealthy it is for me, but there is nothing to be done about it. Until you cradle me and tell me that you love me and apologize for what has happened, or I die, whichever comes first, that will be the end of the pain.

_I could be so content _

_Hearing the sound of your breath _

Aftermath.

I lie here, on the couch, too tired and aching to move from here to the bed. If only I could lie in your arms, warm, content, safe. Instead, I tug the blanket tighter around me in the mimicry of an embrace and wait until dawn.

_Cold _

_Is the color of crystal the snowlight _

_That falls from the heavenly skies _

_Catch me and let me dive under _

_For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes_

Why is it that I'm always below you? Always on the ground, or heading there.

I lie in the snow, alone and at peace with nature. The sky is blindingly grey, soft and touchable as it sheds little pieces of itself in the form of crystallized water. Cold is snow is white is you. Your eyes are this color, the color of this cut-out shape. Crystal-clear, diamond-cut shining eyes. Look upon me, from where ever you are. See me? Here I am, infidel me, making a mess of the perfection, of the cold. Save me from my vertigo, as I fall and fall and fall down and away and I'm dizzy in the swirling of the cold and the grey and white as it shines.

Blood steams, melts snow.

_I want to be with you baby _

_Slip me inside of your heart _

_Don't I belong to you baby _

_Don't you know that nothing can tear us apart?_

_Come on now come on now come on now_

Tears prick at my eyes and I gasp silently as they drip down the side of my face, never freezing. I wish I could seek shelter in your heart. I know that it is guarded well, but I wish I could just sneak in somehow. Just like how you snuck into mine.

We were always meant to be together. We always were, and in the time that we weren't, you were always hiding in my heart anyways. Neither of us knew it. If only you'd accept that little piece of me that's in you... I know it's in there.

_Telling you that I loved you right from the start._

_But the more I want you the less I get _

_Ain't that just the way things are..._

It's _always _been in there. You damn idiot! Why won't you see it?! You put me through such pain, such loneliness, just because you won't accept it... I accepted it. I saw it. You are behind me again, and it's entirely your fault. I've always loved you for being up there with me. I almost wish you'd beat me one of these days.

And then, stupid stupid me, I _told_ you that I loved you.

I told you, and now you're just tearing me apart like never before.

_Winter has frozen us _

_Let love take hold of us _

_Cold cold cold_

Anyone would argue that we are both cold, ice, frozen from emotion. And most would make the correct assumption that I am the less cold of us two. Please just see that it's not a weakness. Maybe I grow faster than you. Maybe I'm smarter than you. Maybe I've just had more opportunities than you. You could at least make an effort to let go...

_Now we are shivering _

_Blue ice is glittering _

_Cold cold cold_

The sky, the sky, the sky is grey, and the snow is white, and you, you are a blue, and there you are, up in the sky and the snow. Snow falls from your eyes, little pieces of your eyes. I let them fall on me, and make a wish that they will become a part of me. A little you in me.

_Cold _

_Is the colour of crystal the snowlight _

_That falls from the heavenly skies _

_Catch me and let me dive under _

_For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes_

I love you, I love you, I love you.

The snow is white is your tear. The sky is grey is your skin. The blue is your eyes, your eyes alone.

Hold me, hold me, hold me as I fall down down down away.

_Don't you know it's _

_Cold cold cold..._

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Thank you for reading! waves Intelligent reviews are much appreciated. 


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